After A Year

I can't forget March, last year. it was the time I felt I was climbing up to the next level of my life after such a long long journey. It was the moment when I was truly happy; I had just begun my career, in which at the same time I tried to start thinking my private life, and  tried to be open to others as I was to be too introvert before. I did face some obstacles, but it was not comparable to the happiness I felt at that moment. I thought It would be such a great start before finally it turned to be the beginning of a great depression. I lost my best friend to whom I used to share my happiness and sorrow, to whom I leaned my head after the tears. He is the one more than even a family. My life was such a blank after him; I had nowhere to go, nothing to dream and hope. I realized that I was so attached to him. I was counting days after him, hopping that everything was just a bad dream, but every time I woke up it became even real. I had insomnia for months. if I could sleep, I would woke up at midnight tearing.  I even had to take the sleeping pills.  

I still had other friends who I thought I could share my pain, my sorrow. I tried to, but they said I was too much and it made me even lost my courage to stand. Yah, I did realize that I was getting abnormal; how could I get depressed that badly. They were also his friends, but they could easily move on. If I could ask God for what I feel, I wanted to be like them. Yet, the feeling just grew the way it was, I couldn't control even a second. I tried my best, but it ended with even bad depression. You might ask how it could be, I myself asked the same question and never found the answer.

Now, It's been a year. Time flies so fast tough the lost in my heart remains. It may take time for me to live this new life; I am trying and will always. Thanks for those who have helped me to stand, who lifted me up in my pain. Thanks for the one who always hold my hand helping, giving me care. Sometimes it just appears in my mind a question of why you become so kind…I tried to guess, but then I have to stop speculating as I haven’t ready for another end

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