I can't forget March, last year. it was the
time I felt I was climbing up to the next level of my life after such a long
long journey. It was the moment when I was truly happy; I had just begun my
career, in which at the same time I tried to start thinking my private life,
and tried to be open to others as I was
to be too introvert before. I did face some obstacles, but it was not
comparable to the happiness I felt at that moment. I thought It would be such a
great start before finally it turned to be the beginning of a great depression.
I lost my best friend to whom I used to share my happiness and sorrow, to whom
I leaned my head after the tears. He is the one more than even a family. My
life was such a blank after him; I had nowhere to go, nothing to dream and
hope. I realized that I was so attached to him. I was counting days after him,
hopping that everything was just a bad dream, but every time I woke up it
became even real. I had insomnia for months. if I could sleep, I would woke up
at midnight tearing. I even had to take
the sleeping pills.
I still had other friends who I thought I
could share my pain, my sorrow. I tried to, but they said I was too much and it
made me even lost my courage to stand. Yah, I did realize that I was getting
abnormal; how could I get depressed that badly. They were also his friends, but
they could easily move on. If I could ask God for what I feel, I wanted to be
like them. Yet, the feeling just grew the way it was, I couldn't control even a
second. I tried my best, but it ended with even bad depression. You might ask
how it could be, I myself asked the same question and never found the answer.
Now, It's been a year. Time flies so fast
tough the lost in my heart remains. It may take time for me to live this new life;
I am trying and will always. Thanks for those who have helped me to stand, who
lifted me up in my pain. Thanks for the one who always hold my hand helping, giving
me care. Sometimes it just appears in my mind a question of why you become so
kind…I tried to guess, but then I have to stop speculating as I haven’t ready
for another end
.